And Justice for All

On May 17, 2024February 2, 2025 By travelsforchocolateIn fashion, Mental Health, Military ServiceLeave a comment

Do you remember the Pledge of Allegiance? “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” I can’t remember what I ate last week for dinner, but I sure do remember the Pledge of Allegiance I recited every school day in the third grade. Anyway… moving on.

In July of 2020, I met with the leadership of the New Mexico Army National Guard, driven by a need to personally confront them with hard questions about their moral courage, their integrity, their inaction regarding my 2012 whistleblower inspector general complaint, and my wrongful discharge. I asked for a formal review and reconsideration of the “investigation” by the NM Inspector General, and for the restoration of the retirement benefits that were stripped from me. I also requested a meeting with my former leadership, seeking some semblance of the guidance and respect I once believed they embodied. My request was met with silence. These officers and senior enlisted leaders were figures I once revered, symbols of resilience and sacrifice—ideals encapsulated by the shout of “BATAAN” that concluded every meeting, a reference not only to the historic death march that my godfather survived but also to a harrowing battle that epitomizes endurance in adversity. Yet, when it came to addressing grievances from one of their own, those cries seemed to echo in a void, highlighting a disconnect between professed values and practiced behavior.

What followed was not straightforward engagement but the formation of a board composed of four members—one of whom had previously exhibited bias. Before attending the board, I notified the general counsel of the bias and asked for that member to be removed. The general counsel responded and advised me that the person would be removed. During the board proceedings, instead of addressing the substantial issues raised, the general counsel accused me of creating a conspiracy theory. You can’t create a conspiracy theory about something that’s already been established. This wasn’t just a dismissal but a profound invalidation of my experiences and concerns. To add insult to injury, after receiving hours of my testimony and reviewing over 500 pages of supporting documentation, the general counsel notified me that the previously removed member would now continue to participate and have an opinion on the decision. This is moral injury in its rawest form.

Line of duty memorandum issued by State Judge Advocate General

Next steps for me are to submit an application to the Army Board for Correction of Military Records (ABCMR). My quest for justice thus far has drained my savings and tested my resilience. I started a GoFundMe so I could hire an attorney to advise me on how to navigate the complexities of the ABCMR process, as I will need an exception to policy regarding the statute of limitations, hindered by delays and inaction from officials who failed to fulfill my Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests. I suspect that the investigation they were supposed to conduct on themselves never actually took place. It’s hard to provide a copy of an investigation that doesn’t exist.

My story lays bare a troubling gap between the ideals that military organizations uphold and the reality of how they may respond when those ideals are called into question by their own members. It prompts a necessary conversation about integrity, accountability, and the support systems within such institutions. How can military organizations foster a culture of true resilience and integrity if they falter at moments that demand these qualities the most? My story isn’t just about a failed engagement by the New Mexico Army National Guard—it’s a reflection on the broader challenges of ensuring that the values we champion are the values we live by.

As I continue this blog, sharing both the triumphs and trials of my military career, I do so not only to document my own journey but also to offer a voice to others who may feel as lost and heartbroken as I have felt. This isn’t just my story—it’s a reflection of many who serve and struggle, who fight battles long after leaving the battlefield. Through sharing, we find strength and perhaps, a path forward together.

Currently, there is no established treatment for moral injury, as it is considered a wound to the soul.

Listen to my full story here: https://www.youtube.com/live/1y75KOPl3FA?si=71jT6DtDn2uh-gGt

Echoes of Resilience: Finding Strength Through Shared Stories of Survival

On April 18, 2024 By travelsforchocolateIn Mental Health, Military Service, post traumatic stress, recoveryLeave a comment

Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the following content includes discussions and depictions of sexual assault which may be distressing for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

At 18, I turned to my cherished Madrina (God Mother), seeking solace from a deep-seated pain that stemmed from a sexual assault when I was 14. The path to healing seemed obscured, especially after finding little understanding among other adults. My Madrina, understanding the gravity of my struggle, suggested I confide in my Padrino (God Father). Despite my reservations, given his advanced age and the distance that separated me from the source of my trauma, I approached him.

My godfather, a revered veteran who had survived unimaginable hardships as a prisoner of war during World War II, offered his ear and heart. In our conversation, he shared his own harrowing tale of survival and loss, drawing parallels to the resilience of the human spirit. He revealed the depths of his suffering during the Bataan Death March, not for sympathy, but to illuminate a path forward for me. I’ll never forget these words “The Japanese soldiers tortured us in ways that they thought would take away what made us men” he then told me the story about how he was held down and forced to watch as they cut off his testicles. “They thought they took away my ability to have children, but look at me right now, sitting here talking to my daughter”. Through his story, he imparted a profound lesson about the indomitability of our inner selves, regardless of the external forces that seek to challenge us.

This exchange with my godfather became a cornerstone of my journey toward healing. He demonstrated that vulnerability and strength are not mutually exclusive but are intertwined in the fabric of resilience. His experiences, marked by both pain and triumph, taught me that our past does not dictate our future.

His legacy of courage and compassion continues to inspire me. It reminds me that, in facing life’s adversities, we can draw on our experiences to find strength and understanding. His life story, a testament to overcoming, guides me through my own challenges, reinforcing the belief in the enduring power of the human spirit to heal and thrive.

Always forward.

Legacy of Love: Honoring Jose G. Lucero

On February 7, 2024February 6, 2024 By travelsforchocolateIn Military Service, UncategorizedLeave a comment

In Loving Memory of Padrino Jose G. Lucero: A Legacy of Courage and Love

In the intricate tapestry of human existence, one thread stands out with remarkable resilience and tenderness—my beloved Padrino, Jose G. Lucero. An Army Sergeant during World War II, a survivor of the Bataan Death March, and a symbol of unwavering courage and love, his life story transcends mere history—it embodies the very essence of resilience and compassion.

I still remember the warmth of his embrace, the strength in his voice, and the wisdom in his eyes. Despite the scars of war etched upon his soul, my Padrino embraced life with unparalleled intensity, offering guidance and love to all who crossed his path. His presence was a beacon of hope in a world often covered in darkness. Our secret handshake, accompanied by a folded fifty-dollar bill and his playful admonition, “Don’t spend it all in one place,” remains etched in my memory as a testament to his boundless affection and generosity.

Jose G. Lucero, 1979
High School Principal, Mora, New Mexico

Through countless conversations, my Padrino shared with me the harrowing details of his wartime experiences, imparting not only tales of bravery but also a deep sense of duty and honor. His stories were more than mere recollections of the past; they were lessons in courage, sacrifice, and the profound bonds of brotherhood forged in the intense experience of war. They kept each other alive, maintaining a bond that I now understand through the camaraderie I share with my fellow battle buddies. No matter how much time has passed, we always pick up right where we left off.

SGT Jose G. Lucero reunited with Specialist Agapito G. Silva in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The battling bastards of Bataan.

Beyond his wartime heroics, it was my Padrino’s boundless love and unwavering support that truly defined him. From the moment I entered this world, he and my Madrina, Stella, embraced me as their own, showering me with love and guidance. They weren’t just godparents in title, but guardian angels who watched over me with immeasurable love. His words of encouragement, “Soldiers always march forward,” continue to resonate with me, serving as a source of strength and determination in the face of adversity.

His teachings on the honor behind serving were a guiding light, shaping my perspective on what it means to be part of something larger than myself. The lessons he imparted were not just about the past; they were a blueprint for living a life of purpose, integrity, and dedication. My decision to serve was a tribute to his legacy, a way to honor his sacrifice and continue the tradition of service that he held in such high regard.

Though my Padrino passed when I was twenty-two years old, his spirit remains ever-present, a testament to the enduring power of love and the unbeatable strength of the human spirit. His words—”Wipe the blood from your eyes, little girl”—serve as a reminder that no challenge is insurmountable.

Happy Birthday, Padrino. Always forward.