Tag: love

Through the Lens of Bravery

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

One of my favorite military occupational specialties (MOS) was photojournalist. Documenting military history fueled my curiosity about who we are as soldiers and the stories that shape us. I had the unique opportunity to interview everyone from incoming soldiers just beginning their careers to general officers holding the highest levels of responsibility. I was always amazed by the pride they displayed when talking about their service. Their eyes would light up as they shared their stories, full of accomplishments and hard-earned experiences.

When interviewing general officers, it was as if you could see the spark of their younger selves, their inner child, as they recounted the challenges and obstacles they overcame while climbing the ranks. Yet, by far, my favorite assignment was photographing airborne soldiers. Witnessing the courage required in the preparation for a jump, knowing the risks, was both humbling and awe-inspiring. As we climbed in elevation, I could see a shift in their eyes—their focus intensifying, their discipline taking over to calm the mind before that leap of faith. It was a privilege to capture these moments.

My last photography jump assignment included a Two-Star General, several Colonels, and Senior Enlisted Noncommissioned officers. These men had been a part of my journey since I was 18; they had mentored me, helping shape me into adulthood. Now, they were all about to jump out of an aircraft. In that moment, I felt a deep sense of bravery in all of us. While I couldn’t tell them how much I cared—it wouldn’t have been professional—I offered them my best smile, silently praying for their safe landing.

As my Airborne battle buddies say, “Airborne, all the way.”

Always Forward

Battling Depression: Finding Strength in Every Struggle

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

Depression is a battle I didn’t ask for, but it’s one I face with a warrior’s spirit. Some days, it feels like a quiet whisper, barely noticeable. Other days, it roars with the force of a storm. But no matter how it shows up, I’ve learned one undeniable truth: I am stronger than it.

It took me years to understand that battling depression isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about acknowledging the struggle, accepting that there will be difficult days, and choosing to move forward anyway. Resilience isn’t about avoiding the lows—it’s about rising from them.

I’ve been through many storms in life, and each has taught me something different. Some battles have left scars, but those scars tell stories of survival, grit, and growth. I learned to embrace the tools that help me through the rough days: connection with people who understand, therapeutic practices, and finding moments of stillness in the chaos.

For me, depression is like walking with weights on my shoulders—heavy and unyielding. But over time, I’ve realized that I don’t have to carry the burden alone. I’ve learned to lean on the lessons from my military career, where integrity, courage, and honor shaped who I am today. These are the values that keep me grounded, no matter how hard things get.

I’ve faced challenges that pushed me to my limits, both physically and mentally. But it’s in those moments of darkness that I found my inner strength—the part of me that refuses to give up, no matter how tough the battle. Depression might knock me down, but it will never define me.

Instead of letting it drown me, I’ve chosen to live with purpose. To fight for what matters. To take each day one step at a time, knowing that every step forward is a victory in itself. Every setback is a lesson, and every challenge an opportunity to grow.

If you’re walking a similar path, know this: You are not alone, and your resilience is already within you. Keep pushing forward. Find your reasons to rise, even on the hardest days. Because resilience is not about never falling—it’s about always finding the strength to stand again.

And that’s exactly what I’ll keep doing. Always forward.

A Journey of Healing and Resilience

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

Growing up, I was surrounded by strong military men who guided me into adulthood. They taught me about duty, honor, and resilience. My mother, who was just fifteen when she had me, did her best with the little knowledge she had. I know she loved me, but her youth meant she couldn’t always provide the guidance I needed. Despite this, I don’t harbor any ill feelings towards her or the other adults in my life. They did the best they could with what they knew.

Now, in my mid-40s and having retired from the military ten years ago, I find myself on a different kind of mission. My journey now is one of healing and self-discovery. Through various therapies, I’m learning to retrain my brain and heal the wounds of my past. In many ways, I’m reparenting myself through my children.

Every day, I strive to teach my inner child the values that my military leadership instilled in me—resilience, integrity, personal courage, honor, duty, and respect. I try to pass these lessons on to my children, but I often stumble and make mistakes. There are moments when I feel lost, only knowing what I know and doing the best I can.

However, it’s in these moments of struggle that I find the most growth. The discipline I learned in the military helps me navigate this healing journey. I remind myself that it’s okay to not have all the answers, to not be perfect. What matters is that I’m trying, that I’m committed to healing and growing.

Through this process, I’ve come to understand that healing isn’t linear. It’s a journey with ups and downs, successes and setbacks. But with each step, I’m becoming more whole, more at peace with my past and more hopeful for my future. And in teaching my children about resilience and strength, I’m healing my inner child, one lesson at a time.

Echoes of Resilience: Finding Strength Through Shared Stories of Survival

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental Health, Military Service, post traumatic stress, recoveryLeave a comment

Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the following content includes discussions and depictions of sexual assault which may be distressing for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

At 18, I turned to my cherished Madrina (God Mother), seeking solace from a deep-seated pain that stemmed from a sexual assault when I was 14. The path to healing seemed obscured, especially after finding little understanding among other adults. My Madrina, understanding the gravity of my struggle, suggested I confide in my Padrino (God Father). Despite my reservations, given his advanced age and the distance that separated me from the source of my trauma, I approached him.

My godfather, a revered veteran who had survived unimaginable hardships as a prisoner of war during World War II, offered his ear and heart. In our conversation, he shared his own harrowing tale of survival and loss, drawing parallels to the resilience of the human spirit. He revealed the depths of his suffering during the Bataan Death March, not for sympathy, but to illuminate a path forward for me. I’ll never forget these words “The Japanese soldiers tortured us in ways that they thought would take away what made us men” he then told me the story about how he was held down and forced to watch as they cut off his testicles. “They thought they took away my ability to have children, but look at me right now, sitting here talking to my daughter”. Through his story, he imparted a profound lesson about the indomitability of our inner selves, regardless of the external forces that seek to challenge us. 

This exchange with my godfather became a cornerstone of my journey toward healing. He demonstrated that vulnerability and strength are not mutually exclusive but are intertwined in the fabric of resilience. His experiences, marked by both pain and triumph, taught me that our past does not dictate our future. 

His legacy of courage and compassion continues to inspire me. It reminds me that, in facing life’s adversities, we can draw on our experiences to find strength and understanding. His life story, a testament to overcoming, guides me through my own challenges, reinforcing the belief in the enduring power of the human spirit to heal and thrive. 

Always forward.

Turning the Page: A Story of Transformation and Leadership.

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental Health, Military Service1 Comment

In the heart of New Mexico’s desert landscapes, my journey unfolded within the DoD Innovative Readiness Training Taskforce. At 23, I, found myself deeply embedded in the military’s operations, often presenting to Army General Officers at Joint Task Force-North. Despite my achievements and dedication, there was a part of me that felt out of place, marked by the tattoos on my hands – remnants of a past life, symbols from a chapter I wished to close. These tattoos, gang symbols from before I found refuge and purpose in the military at seventeen, were a stark contrast to the person I had become. Being a single mother added another layer to my desire to erase these marks; I wanted to present the best version of myself to my child and not be judged for the missteps of my youth.

Me at age 23 pictured with my daughter, Jaedon age 1.

Feeling weighed down by these visual reminders of my past, I sought the counsel of my Command Sergeant Major, a person of wisdom and respect. I opened up about my desire to have the tattoos removed but was hindered by the financial burden it entailed. It was a moment of vulnerability, sharing a part of my story that I had kept shielded under the rings on my fingers and the sleeves of my uniform.

To my surprise and relief, the Command Sergeant Major took my concern to heart. He saw beyond the request, understanding the profound impact such a gesture could have on my life and career. He proposed a plan to The Adjutant General, suggesting a command directive that would allow me to have the tattoos removed without any cost to me. The Adjutant General’s agreement to this plan was a turning point for me.

The day I received the memorandum command directing tattoo removal , my world changed. It wasn’t just a document; it was a symbol of faith, an acknowledgment of my growth, and an investment in my future. The subsequent removal of the tattoos was transformative, not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically. It was as if I had been given a clean slate, an opportunity to redefine myself and stride forward without the weight of my past judgments.

Pictured in my office at Kirtland Air Force base where NM-IRT headquarters was located.

This experience taught me an invaluable lesson about leadership and compassion. It underscored the profound difference that support and belief in someone’s potential can make. My leaders didn’t just see me for who I was or where I had been; they saw me for who I could become. Their investment in me was a testament to the idea that when we lift others up, we foster an environment of growth, respect, and mutual support.

The story of how my leadership helped me close a chapter of my past and confidently face my future is one I hold close to my heart. It’s a reminder that everyone has the power to change their narrative, especially when there are people who believe in and support them. It’s a lesson I will carry with me always: invest in people wherever and whenever you can. It truly makes all the difference.

Always forward.