Tag: retired

Battling Depression: Finding Strength in Every Struggle

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

Depression is a battle I didn’t ask for, but it’s one I face with a warrior’s spirit. Some days, it feels like a quiet whisper, barely noticeable. Other days, it roars with the force of a storm. But no matter how it shows up, I’ve learned one undeniable truth: I am stronger than it.

It took me years to understand that battling depression isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about acknowledging the struggle, accepting that there will be difficult days, and choosing to move forward anyway. Resilience isn’t about avoiding the lows—it’s about rising from them.

I’ve been through many storms in life, and each has taught me something different. Some battles have left scars, but those scars tell stories of survival, grit, and growth. I learned to embrace the tools that help me through the rough days: connection with people who understand, therapeutic practices, and finding moments of stillness in the chaos.

For me, depression is like walking with weights on my shoulders—heavy and unyielding. But over time, I’ve realized that I don’t have to carry the burden alone. I’ve learned to lean on the lessons from my military career, where integrity, courage, and honor shaped who I am today. These are the values that keep me grounded, no matter how hard things get.

I’ve faced challenges that pushed me to my limits, both physically and mentally. But it’s in those moments of darkness that I found my inner strength—the part of me that refuses to give up, no matter how tough the battle. Depression might knock me down, but it will never define me.

Instead of letting it drown me, I’ve chosen to live with purpose. To fight for what matters. To take each day one step at a time, knowing that every step forward is a victory in itself. Every setback is a lesson, and every challenge an opportunity to grow.

If you’re walking a similar path, know this: You are not alone, and your resilience is already within you. Keep pushing forward. Find your reasons to rise, even on the hardest days. Because resilience is not about never falling—it’s about always finding the strength to stand again.

And that’s exactly what I’ll keep doing. Always forward.

A Journey of Healing and Resilience

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

Growing up, I was surrounded by strong military men who guided me into adulthood. They taught me about duty, honor, and resilience. My mother, who was just fifteen when she had me, did her best with the little knowledge she had. I know she loved me, but her youth meant she couldn’t always provide the guidance I needed. Despite this, I don’t harbor any ill feelings towards her or the other adults in my life. They did the best they could with what they knew.

Now, in my mid-40s and having retired from the military ten years ago, I find myself on a different kind of mission. My journey now is one of healing and self-discovery. Through various therapies, I’m learning to retrain my brain and heal the wounds of my past. In many ways, I’m reparenting myself through my children.

Every day, I strive to teach my inner child the values that my military leadership instilled in me—resilience, integrity, personal courage, honor, duty, and respect. I try to pass these lessons on to my children, but I often stumble and make mistakes. There are moments when I feel lost, only knowing what I know and doing the best I can.

However, it’s in these moments of struggle that I find the most growth. The discipline I learned in the military helps me navigate this healing journey. I remind myself that it’s okay to not have all the answers, to not be perfect. What matters is that I’m trying, that I’m committed to healing and growing.

Through this process, I’ve come to understand that healing isn’t linear. It’s a journey with ups and downs, successes and setbacks. But with each step, I’m becoming more whole, more at peace with my past and more hopeful for my future. And in teaching my children about resilience and strength, I’m healing my inner child, one lesson at a time.

The Hidden Gift in Disappointment and Betrayal Trauma: A Testament to Courage.

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental Health, Military ServiceLeave a comment

I’ve been reflecting deeply on the paradoxical blessing of disappointment. It’s a common experience to feel a sense of shame when we encounter failures, rejections, or the end of relationships. I recently fell into this trap myself. However, it’s crucial to recognize that disappointment is actually a testament to bravery. It signals that you had the courage to invest emotionally, to strive, and to pursue your desires wholeheartedly.

Yet, there’s another layer to this, particularly when disappointment stems from betrayal. Betrayal trauma occurs when someone we deeply trust or depend upon lets us down in a profound way. This type of disappointment is not just about unmet expectations but a profound violation of trust. It shakes the foundation of what we believed was secure, questioning our judgment and our capacity to trust.

Nevertheless, even in the throes of betrayal trauma, there’s a hidden gift. It’s an opportunity to confront our deepest vulnerabilities and fears, to understand our capacity for resilience, and to ultimately grow from the experience. Just as disappointment in other areas of life shows we dared to dream and reach for what we wanted, navigating through betrayal trauma reveals our strength to face profound emotional challenges, learn from them, and emerge stronger.

So, celebrate yourself. In a world where apathy and half-hearted efforts are all too common, you’ve shown that you’re willing to be fully present and engaged, even at the risk of pain. That’s not just brave; it’s profound.

Always forward.

Fun Fact Friday

On By travelsforchocolateIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I decided to start something new on my InstaGram.  Every friday I’m going to post a fun and interesting fact about myself.  Todays fact is:

I am a retired Army Master Sergeant.  Yes, ME!

If I had a dollar for every time someone said “you were in the Army? You don’t look old enough to be retired!” I’d be rich!!!!

mombeararmy

I signed up for the army in 1997, when I was 17. They were offering to pay for my college education. I wasn’t concerned about the possibility of going to war; I just kept thinking, I’m going to a bad ass soldier.

My first MOS (military occupational specialty ) was 92Y Unit Supply Specialist, which is  logistics and small arms.  My duties were pretty simple, I would receive, inspect, conduct inventories, load, issue, deliver and turn-in organization and installation supplies and equipment. I would also issue and receive small arms. Secure and control weapons and ammunition in security areas. Schedule and perform preventive and organizational maintenance on weapons.

I then transitioned over to 46Q Public Affairs Specialist.  I was taking photography in college at the time so it just made sense to get some experience.  I did a lot of research, prepared and disseminated news releases, articles, web-based material and photographs on Army personnel and activities.

I loved being an Army photographer but my true calling came on that dreadful day that no american will ever forget, 9/11.  I’ll never forget that phone call I got from my unit commander that morning just moments after the first tower was struck. I was 5 months pregnant with my daughter Jaedon.  He needed me to report immediately because the media was already hounding and we needed to start researching all the facts in order to give accurate information out to our troops. I was then tasked to cover any training and or responses by our State WMD-CST (Weapons of Mass Destruction- Civil Support Team).  I guess you could say that I became infatuated with how our nation wanted to do more to protect its citizens against the growing threat of chemical and biological terrorism. I kept saying to myself, this is what I want to do. Five months after my daughter was born I was tasked to the 64th WMD-CST and do a unit history story.  I won’t lie, I was so excited! I spent the next two weeks photographing their training  and exercises.  By the end of my assignment I was convinced that this was my calling.  I immediately requested a transfer and off to Chemical school I went.  I spent the next nine years with an amazing team that provided DoD’s unique expertise and capabilities to assist state governors in preparing for and responding to chemical, biological, radiological or nuclear (CBRN) incidents as part of a state’s emergency response structure.

In addition to working with the WMD team, I was also assigned to our State’s Counter Narcotics unit working with law enforcement agencies and community based organizations, has performed interdiction and anti-drug activities in the fight against illicit drugs.

My final years were spent as a Senior Human Resources Sergeant / platoon sergeant and Joint Substance abuse coordinator. I guess you could say I had a successful career and I will forever be grateful for the education, travel, friendships and benefits that the Army has provided me with.