Tag: Soldier

Echoes of Resilience: Finding Strength Through Shared Stories of Survival

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental Health, Military Service, post traumatic stress, recoveryLeave a comment

Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the following content includes discussions and depictions of sexual assault which may be distressing for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

At 18, I turned to my cherished Madrina (God Mother), seeking solace from a deep-seated pain that stemmed from a sexual assault when I was 14. The path to healing seemed obscured, especially after finding little understanding among other adults. My Madrina, understanding the gravity of my struggle, suggested I confide in my Padrino (God Father). Despite my reservations, given his advanced age and the distance that separated me from the source of my trauma, I approached him.

My godfather, a revered veteran who had survived unimaginable hardships as a prisoner of war during World War II, offered his ear and heart. In our conversation, he shared his own harrowing tale of survival and loss, drawing parallels to the resilience of the human spirit. He revealed the depths of his suffering during the Bataan Death March, not for sympathy, but to illuminate a path forward for me. I’ll never forget these words “The Japanese soldiers tortured us in ways that they thought would take away what made us men” he then told me the story about how he was held down and forced to watch as they cut off his testicles. “They thought they took away my ability to have children, but look at me right now, sitting here talking to my daughter”. Through his story, he imparted a profound lesson about the indomitability of our inner selves, regardless of the external forces that seek to challenge us. 

This exchange with my godfather became a cornerstone of my journey toward healing. He demonstrated that vulnerability and strength are not mutually exclusive but are intertwined in the fabric of resilience. His experiences, marked by both pain and triumph, taught me that our past does not dictate our future. 

His legacy of courage and compassion continues to inspire me. It reminds me that, in facing life’s adversities, we can draw on our experiences to find strength and understanding. His life story, a testament to overcoming, guides me through my own challenges, reinforcing the belief in the enduring power of the human spirit to heal and thrive. 

Always forward.

Turning the Page: A Story of Transformation and Leadership.

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental Health, Military Service1 Comment

In the heart of New Mexico’s desert landscapes, my journey unfolded within the DoD Innovative Readiness Training Taskforce. At 23, I, found myself deeply embedded in the military’s operations, often presenting to Army General Officers at Joint Task Force-North. Despite my achievements and dedication, there was a part of me that felt out of place, marked by the tattoos on my hands – remnants of a past life, symbols from a chapter I wished to close. These tattoos, gang symbols from before I found refuge and purpose in the military at seventeen, were a stark contrast to the person I had become. Being a single mother added another layer to my desire to erase these marks; I wanted to present the best version of myself to my child and not be judged for the missteps of my youth.

Me at age 23 pictured with my daughter, Jaedon age 1.

Feeling weighed down by these visual reminders of my past, I sought the counsel of my Command Sergeant Major, a person of wisdom and respect. I opened up about my desire to have the tattoos removed but was hindered by the financial burden it entailed. It was a moment of vulnerability, sharing a part of my story that I had kept shielded under the rings on my fingers and the sleeves of my uniform.

To my surprise and relief, the Command Sergeant Major took my concern to heart. He saw beyond the request, understanding the profound impact such a gesture could have on my life and career. He proposed a plan to The Adjutant General, suggesting a command directive that would allow me to have the tattoos removed without any cost to me. The Adjutant General’s agreement to this plan was a turning point for me.

The day I received the memorandum command directing tattoo removal , my world changed. It wasn’t just a document; it was a symbol of faith, an acknowledgment of my growth, and an investment in my future. The subsequent removal of the tattoos was transformative, not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically. It was as if I had been given a clean slate, an opportunity to redefine myself and stride forward without the weight of my past judgments.

Pictured in my office at Kirtland Air Force base where NM-IRT headquarters was located.

This experience taught me an invaluable lesson about leadership and compassion. It underscored the profound difference that support and belief in someone’s potential can make. My leaders didn’t just see me for who I was or where I had been; they saw me for who I could become. Their investment in me was a testament to the idea that when we lift others up, we foster an environment of growth, respect, and mutual support.

The story of how my leadership helped me close a chapter of my past and confidently face my future is one I hold close to my heart. It’s a reminder that everyone has the power to change their narrative, especially when there are people who believe in and support them. It’s a lesson I will carry with me always: invest in people wherever and whenever you can. It truly makes all the difference.

Always forward.

The Hidden Gift in Disappointment and Betrayal Trauma: A Testament to Courage.

On By travelsforchocolateIn Mental Health, Military ServiceLeave a comment

I’ve been reflecting deeply on the paradoxical blessing of disappointment. It’s a common experience to feel a sense of shame when we encounter failures, rejections, or the end of relationships. I recently fell into this trap myself. However, it’s crucial to recognize that disappointment is actually a testament to bravery. It signals that you had the courage to invest emotionally, to strive, and to pursue your desires wholeheartedly.

Yet, there’s another layer to this, particularly when disappointment stems from betrayal. Betrayal trauma occurs when someone we deeply trust or depend upon lets us down in a profound way. This type of disappointment is not just about unmet expectations but a profound violation of trust. It shakes the foundation of what we believed was secure, questioning our judgment and our capacity to trust.

Nevertheless, even in the throes of betrayal trauma, there’s a hidden gift. It’s an opportunity to confront our deepest vulnerabilities and fears, to understand our capacity for resilience, and to ultimately grow from the experience. Just as disappointment in other areas of life shows we dared to dream and reach for what we wanted, navigating through betrayal trauma reveals our strength to face profound emotional challenges, learn from them, and emerge stronger.

So, celebrate yourself. In a world where apathy and half-hearted efforts are all too common, you’ve shown that you’re willing to be fully present and engaged, even at the risk of pain. That’s not just brave; it’s profound.

Always forward.

Fun Fact Friday

On By travelsforchocolateIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I decided to start something new on my InstaGram.  Every friday I’m going to post a fun and interesting fact about myself.  Todays fact is:

I am a retired Army Master Sergeant.  Yes, ME!

If I had a dollar for every time someone said “you were in the Army? You don’t look old enough to be retired!” I’d be rich!!!!

mombeararmy

I signed up for the army in 1997, when I was 17. They were offering to pay for my college education. I wasn’t concerned about the possibility of going to war; I just kept thinking, I’m going to a bad ass soldier.

My first MOS (military occupational specialty ) was 92Y Unit Supply Specialist, which is  logistics and small arms.  My duties were pretty simple, I would receive, inspect, conduct inventories, load, issue, deliver and turn-in organization and installation supplies and equipment. I would also issue and receive small arms. Secure and control weapons and ammunition in security areas. Schedule and perform preventive and organizational maintenance on weapons.

I then transitioned over to 46Q Public Affairs Specialist.  I was taking photography in college at the time so it just made sense to get some experience.  I did a lot of research, prepared and disseminated news releases, articles, web-based material and photographs on Army personnel and activities.

I loved being an Army photographer but my true calling came on that dreadful day that no american will ever forget, 9/11.  I’ll never forget that phone call I got from my unit commander that morning just moments after the first tower was struck. I was 5 months pregnant with my daughter Jaedon.  He needed me to report immediately because the media was already hounding and we needed to start researching all the facts in order to give accurate information out to our troops. I was then tasked to cover any training and or responses by our State WMD-CST (Weapons of Mass Destruction- Civil Support Team).  I guess you could say that I became infatuated with how our nation wanted to do more to protect its citizens against the growing threat of chemical and biological terrorism. I kept saying to myself, this is what I want to do. Five months after my daughter was born I was tasked to the 64th WMD-CST and do a unit history story.  I won’t lie, I was so excited! I spent the next two weeks photographing their training  and exercises.  By the end of my assignment I was convinced that this was my calling.  I immediately requested a transfer and off to Chemical school I went.  I spent the next nine years with an amazing team that provided DoD’s unique expertise and capabilities to assist state governors in preparing for and responding to chemical, biological, radiological or nuclear (CBRN) incidents as part of a state’s emergency response structure.

In addition to working with the WMD team, I was also assigned to our State’s Counter Narcotics unit working with law enforcement agencies and community based organizations, has performed interdiction and anti-drug activities in the fight against illicit drugs.

My final years were spent as a Senior Human Resources Sergeant / platoon sergeant and Joint Substance abuse coordinator. I guess you could say I had a successful career and I will forever be grateful for the education, travel, friendships and benefits that the Army has provided me with.